So I wasn't popular. I had the nickname SaHOgun, my house got egged, and my parents needed a PO Box because people kept knocking ours down night after night. High school was miserable for me.
I knew everyone, though. It seemed that the girls hated me,
and the boys were secretly my friends (or just wanted to get into my pants) who knew their true intentions. I probably made my bed with the girls as well. I recently learned that I made an inappropriate comment regarding a girl's weight when I was ten, which stayed with me until we no longer shared zip codes. I wish someone would have said something to me earlier, as I hope my younger self would have apologized. If she ever reads this, I hope she knows adult Jess feels awful for making this girl feel anything but happy and special. But then again, they probably did give me a second chance at some point, and I acted like a spoiled brat- Knowing my younger self, I probably wouldn't have.
Even worse, the summer before my freshman year of high school, I was at a relay sleepover (I swam- super cool) drinking the leftovers of cheap Vodka ( my first time drinking; I was 12). One of the girls on the relay team's brother and his friends were getting ready to go on their senior trip, a cruise, because "us rich folk" put our children on cruises to celebrate graduations, I drank the rest that wouldn't fit into the water bottles they were storing in their bags I remember feeling not very wanted. The first time I saw the movie American History X- and found out what curb stomping was.
The girls on my relay team had an issue with me. I went to middle school with some and swam year after year with them until I moved to another swim club closer to my parents' house.
I will forever remember this night. This was the start of a crappy four years, not just with the people in my high school but also with my parents. The night I drank for the first time, I blacked out, pissed, and threw up all over myself. I woke up naked on the floor near the bathroom. I asked the girls I was with that night and then mentioned that I threw up all over myself.
I will forever remember the car ride home when I begged my mother to pull over the car so I could throw up. Still, to this day, I don't know what happened the night prior. I remember him asking me if I ate a bad bagel or drank bad orange juice lol as I threw up on the side of the road. At least we won the relay like we did every year!
Not till my first day of school did I find out that pictures were taken of me that night flashing while I was so intoxicated I couldn't remember those pictures even happening. If this was 2023, I'm confident this would have been a consent thing. Maybe the girl wouldn't have been so mean had she known the entire story- shit calling me a slut when I hadn't even rounded first base with a boy.
Fast forward to my first week of high school, where I'm getting yelled at outside of the gym while a junior holds back a sophomore while she is ranting slut to me, and I'm calling her a pizza face, as I didn't know any other things to say to her as I'm running to my bus trying not to get my ass kicked by a terrifying group of girls. I didn't pose for the pictures. I didn't even know they existed until that day. Thankful for the group of guys telling them to stop, even if it was to save them and not me.
That was day 1 or 5 of the next 715 days I had left as a high schooler.
Seven hundred fifteen days of more stories
I've had the privilege to get invited to my High school 20-year reunion this year, and I guess my 10-year got lost in the interwebs somewhere because that one didn't appear in my FB invite box. I'm sure the boys of in-crowd peaked while they were in high school (for some, I know this is 100% true) - the girls are still just as clicky with each other as they were before.
Call this the Diaries of a SaHOgun
I will start from the very beginning- and in between, throw in some fun-less depressing blogs...
My high school principal told me once that I should write a book about not giving up-. I will do just that! It's probably the only piece of advice I've taken from him!